"Noah was a brave man to sail in a wooden boat with two termites." - Anonymous

Friday, August 1, 2008

In Which I Fall Down On My Son's Bed, Sobbing

So, hubs took the boys out to the mountains this past week. They left Saturday morning while I was traipsing around Calgary. Hubs is helping his dad develop the basement of the cabin his parents own in Fairmont, British Columbia (affectionately known as Calgary West). I use the term 'cabin' loosely. There are few true cabins out there, it seems people instead prefer to build replicas of homes they can find here in the city.

As I'm sure all of you moms out there can relate, I luuurrrv having the house to myself. Seriously, I think I started purring when hubs told me his plan. I've been able to get some cleaning done, eat what I want, not worry about leaving the office on time or what the traffic is like, things like that.

Sure, I missed them. Who wouldn't? I think I've got the two cutest, most lovable kids on the face of the earth. But, maybe I'm biased. And hubs is pretty great too (see above comment that it was his idea). So, needless to say, the first few nights I was a little sappy when bedtime rolled around and there were no little sleeping children to kiss goodnight, no one to tuck in or lay down with and no one to sneak in on in the middle of the night just to watch them.

Then Tuesday hit.

I had just finished getting ready for bed and I walked past my oldest son's room. So empty. No little body curled up beneath the blanket. No little head on the pillow. No soft rise and fall with tiny breaths. No little sighs or quiet snoring.

Holy crap.

I am not an emotional person by any stretch of the imagination. At least I don't think I am. Am I?

I was not ready for the onslaught of feelings and tears at that moment. The quiet of the house was overwhelming in that instant. I'm not sure there are appropriate words to describe it all. I don't think I ever realized just how long a week can be.

Needless to say, the cat has gotten a lot of attention this week. I'm sure she's loving it and will be extremely disappointed when those boys walk through the door tomorrow afternoon.

I was going to comment that I'm not sure I'll let them go away for this long without me again, but wait and ask me that next year.


Tracey said...

I'm sorry. I COMPLETELY understand. As much as you want the space, the constant reminders of their absence is tough.

I think it's the hardest when THEY leave and you're stuck at home. It's a bit easier if YOU leave and they stay!

Kami said...

I know the feeling... you crave time alone but yet when you are alone... you feel so very alone. It's when I know that I am supposed to be a mother and that I must cherish it.

I bet they will equally excited to see you when they arrive home :-)

Maya said...

Isn't that the truth? We so crave the space and it's great for about a day and then it seems so lonely.

Mimi said...

Hm. I get it ... but usually it's me out of town on business and so I don't see the empty bed, the abandoned toys. That would be worse, I think.